Woe-man or Wo-Man?

Women can be roughly divided into two categories( pigeon-holing again) - Woe-men ie. those who love to suffer or live to suffer (god knows which) and wo-Men those who decide that the only way to outwit men is being being men and doing what they do. Right from the time of Mother India(movie) or much before that women believed firmly that their lot in life was to shed tears, "To Suffer". That was the only" ring" they had the right to wear. Suffering in silence was supposed to be the sign of strength. To provide them the moral compass required to steer their lives. A woman incapable of suffering was no woman at all.

 Tears was their weapon- to cajole, manipulate and swing things in their favor. Then came a time when women decided to change the scenario. If men could do it, so could they. Anything men did they did better. Climb mountains, fly planes, smoke, swear, cuss, drink, have indiscriminate sex. These are the wo-Men out to prove that they are in no way less than their male counterparts. The 2018 woman? She's an amalgamation of the two. Sometimes veering one way; sometimes another. Sometimes the victim who gets raped and brutalised. Sometimes the force that topples governments. But has she changed so much from what she was in the past? I was reading One Indian girl by Chetan Bhagat. Yes. I'm always late to the circus. And I was shocked by the so- called successful heroine. A Goldman Sachs VP with crippling self esteem issues she gets drawn into two affairs with two men, both equally unsuitable and her only worry is whether they want to marry her or not. Whether she is attractive enough or not. Her emotional dependency on them is pathetic. She cries buckets when her first boyfriend discards her. She is hurt because her  older boyfriend doesn't see her as a successful mother. For a super successful career woman she ticks all the boxes of the stereotypical woe- man. And though in the end she sends both men packing deciding to take off on a world tour she continues to look for approval of her third man- her arranged boyfriend/ ex-husband. Is that who the modern woman is? Is that who we are inside that so- called sophisticated successful exterior? Then all the education and empowerment has not wrought any change. We are right where we started. 

The right frame

Hi! I would start by wishing you all a Happy New Year except that the new year has come and gone, its tinsel brightness already dulling. But still here it is, Happy New Year! 

So I was on Linked In yesterday scrolling through idly when I chanced upon a post by someone( I'm sorry. Blame my failing memory for not remembering the name) in which he said (I think it was a he) how he had gone to great lengths and expense to procure a book but having read a few pages/ chapters he had abandoned it for another. He exhorted the others not to feel guilty if they did the same. That started a train of thought in my mind and led me to write this. 

Take a beautiful painting for instance. How much of its beauty is subtracted if it is not framed right? The painting in itself might be flawless but the wrong frame can make it hideous diminishing much of its beauty. Then it becomes ordinary. Just another piece of art. All of us speak right? All of us write. But how is it some sentences can mean so much that you quote  that speaker while others disappear into the vast cavern of "just words"? 

So many times I've opened a book, a fantastic book, a book that has garnered rave reviews and then abandoned it halfway because it just didn't strike the right note? Or to be blunt, was plain boring. That is not to say the book or writer is less for it. Sometimes I've read a book that no one has taken any note of and it has spoken to me in ways that books speak to readers.It is just that at that particular moment I wasn't in the right frame of mind to appreciate that book. Maybe I was too hassled and was looking for light relief. Or that book was all light relief, and I needed spiritual counselling. Or at least something that would add value to my life instead of being just a pot boiler. It is the frame that makes all the difference. ( Even if it's a person you're scrutinizing.)And the right frame can make and break every work of art - whether it is books, movies, or painting, or even music. 

So next time you abandon a book or think it's not good enough maybe you should grant the author some leeway. Perhaps you weren't in the right frame of mind when you read it. 

Perhaps going back to it in years months or days you might be able to appreciate it more. Then again you might not think it's worth it. That's for you to decide. 

I think if framed correctly, seen from the right perspective, everything has a beauty of its own. Even a common potboiler.